| The Ultimate Derby Party May 2004 Column written for Horseplayer Magazine by Pubmaster Whitey |
Racing's biggest day is also a great day to treat your friends, both horseplayer's and novices to a terrific
Kentucky Derby style Bonanza No matter the rooting interest, Americans will look for any reason in which to
Socialize How many times have you heard somebody say, "Someday I'm going to go to the Derby?" If you
can't send them all to Louisville, at least you can treat them to an event filled day at the track.
For those that have ever toyed with the idea of throwing a racetrack type party but were afraid of the cost, fear
no more. Follow this party blueprint and you will not only be the talk of the town, but you may even break
even.
For invitations, all you need to convey is "1st Saturday in May, Booze, and Gambling". Any warm-blooded
American with a pulse will know that stands for a good time. You may want to also mention a post-time of
your choice. You really don't need to wake up Saturday morning and gaze upon dozens of pup tents in your
backyard over morning coffee. The less time your track is open, the better.
There will undoubtedly be inquiries (racing lingo inserted) of dress code. Kindly convey to your customers the
two acceptable attires. The infield look should consist of shorts, t-shirts, and beer helmet for either sex. The
apron look is a bit more refined. Ladies should be dressed to the nines, and derby bonnets are required. For
gentleman, a sport coat and power tie is appropriate. For the serious racetrack look, dump the wife and wear
a hot blond on either arm. Contemplate free admission for best helmet, bonnet, and accessory. If you really
want to get in the spirit, invite your old college roommate whom everyone agrees is a horse's ass.
To make sure your guests get the full track experience, there will be some pre-party planning needed. Head
over to your local Radio Shack and pick up a couple of cable TV splitters, and some extra co-axle. Talk to
your neighbors and line up as many TV's as you can for the fiesta. Any neighbor that brings over, AND takes
home a TV gets free admission. As far as Derby fare is concerned, grab a bunch of KFC, Early Times, Jim
Beam, Maker's Mark and a few half-barrels of your favorite beer. Any food product that you can grab from
the tray and eat in one bite is also a safe bet. Don't worry about anything changing temperature. Its not
about the food.
Tell your volunteers to arrive no later than two hours prior to the first race. The morning of the party you'll
need to visit the local newsstand and get a bunch of DRFs, Racing Programs, and the remaining stack of Horse
Player Magazines (subconscious marketing ploy). Stop off at the local video store and rent a few copies of Let
It Ride and Seabiscuit for background noise. Upon your return, assign track jobs to your volunteers. You are
going to want to post somebody at the gate to charge admission. Have him tell the guests that you are
instilling a cover charge simply to keep track of attendance. As ridiculous as that may sound, track operators
have been getting away with it for years. Make sure to charge at least a buck for any pencil shorter than Pat
Day.
When the TV's begin rolling in, display them throughout your party rooms to allow a decent view from any
and all seats in the house. If you are having a few serious handicappers over for the festivities, you may want
to provide a more private and comfortable room for them to play from. Keep in mind however, that no
matter what size television you provide, or how much service you give them, it won't be good enough. The
earlier you realize this the better off you will be. Its not about the service.
Fortunately the Derby is in May. This is good news, because having an upbeat string band in your foyer is
always a nice touch. The Mummers of Philadelphia should be available for all your string band needs, as their
New Year's Day hangovers will most likely have subsided. You can offer to pay them for their services with
malt liquor.
Have the neighborhood college kid work the parking lot. Since you've invited everyone you know, and have
tantalized them with wagering and wine, they will come. They will come and they won't even know why,
Sorry, wrong sport. Front lawns make for excellent parking facilities. Neighbor's front lawns make for even
better parking. None of your guests will have a problem with $15 for parking on this day. It's not about the
money. If your neighbors take exception to this, offer them 3% of your take. That has been shown to create a
harmonious business relationship in the past, and should keep them quiet for the afternoon.
Encourage Uncle Hialeah to work your betting windows. If anyone complains that the house is keeping too
much of the cut, provide numbers to a few account wagering services and tell them they are more than
welcome to follow all the computerized betting prompts. At least at your operation you get to deal with a real,
actual person. Ingrates. Of course, you could also just tell them that itss your party, and if they want some
action they'll have to bet through Uncle H. Come to think of it, the best way to get your crowd into the spirit
may be to tantalize them with a huge possible payoff. It may be about the money after all. In that case, you
may need to utilize both a telephone wagering service and the guys in the private player room. Here's how you
do it.
Approach one of your serious handicappers early on. Tell him you will put up a few hundred bucks (or more)
towards his Pick Six cause. This will enable him to make more betting combinations, and also stroke his ego
to no end. Both things on this day are good. Afterwards, go around and sell shares of your potential win fall
in five or ten percent blocks. You can easily hand out copies of all the combinations to each shareholder, and
also post them throughout the house. Those that don't bet will root for those that do. It's all about the
camaraderie. Some may even root against the college roommate just for kicks, which will undoubtedly
provide hours of added enjoyment for all. With a fair amount of luck, the entire house could be live going
into the big event.
As the horses for the Derby emerge for the post parade, hand out copies of My Old Kentucky Home and
encourage a group sing a long. Walk up to the first person you see with real, actual tears and hand them a
$2.00 voucher. You'll be amazed at how much loyalty will be bought with so little. With two minutes to post,
go out and bring all the horseshoe players in. Crank up the volume on all the TV's, and get in your favorite
race spot. The gate break for the Kentucky Derby is THE most exciting start of any sport in the world. Your
party room will surely explode as the heard thunders down the stretch for the first time. As the horses bolt
down the backstretch do yourself a favor. Take your eyes off the TV for a short second and take a look
around. Take pride in your party but more importantly, take pride in your sport. The look of excited friends
and family is one that will stay with you for years after this run for the roses. Give yourself a quick pat on the
back and also hand yourself a voucher.
When they turn for home, have another voucher ready for the guy who yells “and down the stretch they
come the most emphatically. When the last horse has crossed the finish line feel free to exhale in relief. Your
job as party host has officially come to an end.
The best thing about a Kentucky Derby party, or any race party for that matter is this. There is a definite
beginning and ending of a day at the races. Immediately following the last race on the card (if you've€™v
schooled them well), your entire guest list will throw everything on the floor and filter out en masse. While
your house will resemble the aftermath of a ticker tape parade, everyone will be gone! No hanger on-ers, no
awkward moments with phony yawns. If you've schooled them well even your old college roommate will know
when to leave. Pick up enough discarded tickets from the floor and use them to offset the entertainment
expense. Thank the neighbors for the help, and drop the rumor that the Preakness party is across the street in
two weeks. Tell the gang you'll bring a TV and a couple of vouchers. Someday I'm gonna go to the Preakness.
Let me know if the house breaks even.
Kentucky Derby style Bonanza No matter the rooting interest, Americans will look for any reason in which to
Socialize How many times have you heard somebody say, "Someday I'm going to go to the Derby?" If you
can't send them all to Louisville, at least you can treat them to an event filled day at the track.
For those that have ever toyed with the idea of throwing a racetrack type party but were afraid of the cost, fear
no more. Follow this party blueprint and you will not only be the talk of the town, but you may even break
even.
For invitations, all you need to convey is "1st Saturday in May, Booze, and Gambling". Any warm-blooded
American with a pulse will know that stands for a good time. You may want to also mention a post-time of
your choice. You really don't need to wake up Saturday morning and gaze upon dozens of pup tents in your
backyard over morning coffee. The less time your track is open, the better.
There will undoubtedly be inquiries (racing lingo inserted) of dress code. Kindly convey to your customers the
two acceptable attires. The infield look should consist of shorts, t-shirts, and beer helmet for either sex. The
apron look is a bit more refined. Ladies should be dressed to the nines, and derby bonnets are required. For
gentleman, a sport coat and power tie is appropriate. For the serious racetrack look, dump the wife and wear
a hot blond on either arm. Contemplate free admission for best helmet, bonnet, and accessory. If you really
want to get in the spirit, invite your old college roommate whom everyone agrees is a horse's ass.
To make sure your guests get the full track experience, there will be some pre-party planning needed. Head
over to your local Radio Shack and pick up a couple of cable TV splitters, and some extra co-axle. Talk to
your neighbors and line up as many TV's as you can for the fiesta. Any neighbor that brings over, AND takes
home a TV gets free admission. As far as Derby fare is concerned, grab a bunch of KFC, Early Times, Jim
Beam, Maker's Mark and a few half-barrels of your favorite beer. Any food product that you can grab from
the tray and eat in one bite is also a safe bet. Don't worry about anything changing temperature. Its not
about the food.
Tell your volunteers to arrive no later than two hours prior to the first race. The morning of the party you'll
need to visit the local newsstand and get a bunch of DRFs, Racing Programs, and the remaining stack of Horse
Player Magazines (subconscious marketing ploy). Stop off at the local video store and rent a few copies of Let
It Ride and Seabiscuit for background noise. Upon your return, assign track jobs to your volunteers. You are
going to want to post somebody at the gate to charge admission. Have him tell the guests that you are
instilling a cover charge simply to keep track of attendance. As ridiculous as that may sound, track operators
have been getting away with it for years. Make sure to charge at least a buck for any pencil shorter than Pat
Day.
When the TV's begin rolling in, display them throughout your party rooms to allow a decent view from any
and all seats in the house. If you are having a few serious handicappers over for the festivities, you may want
to provide a more private and comfortable room for them to play from. Keep in mind however, that no
matter what size television you provide, or how much service you give them, it won't be good enough. The
earlier you realize this the better off you will be. Its not about the service.
Fortunately the Derby is in May. This is good news, because having an upbeat string band in your foyer is
always a nice touch. The Mummers of Philadelphia should be available for all your string band needs, as their
New Year's Day hangovers will most likely have subsided. You can offer to pay them for their services with
malt liquor.
Have the neighborhood college kid work the parking lot. Since you've invited everyone you know, and have
tantalized them with wagering and wine, they will come. They will come and they won't even know why,
Sorry, wrong sport. Front lawns make for excellent parking facilities. Neighbor's front lawns make for even
better parking. None of your guests will have a problem with $15 for parking on this day. It's not about the
money. If your neighbors take exception to this, offer them 3% of your take. That has been shown to create a
harmonious business relationship in the past, and should keep them quiet for the afternoon.
Encourage Uncle Hialeah to work your betting windows. If anyone complains that the house is keeping too
much of the cut, provide numbers to a few account wagering services and tell them they are more than
welcome to follow all the computerized betting prompts. At least at your operation you get to deal with a real,
actual person. Ingrates. Of course, you could also just tell them that itss your party, and if they want some
action they'll have to bet through Uncle H. Come to think of it, the best way to get your crowd into the spirit
may be to tantalize them with a huge possible payoff. It may be about the money after all. In that case, you
may need to utilize both a telephone wagering service and the guys in the private player room. Here's how you
do it.
Approach one of your serious handicappers early on. Tell him you will put up a few hundred bucks (or more)
towards his Pick Six cause. This will enable him to make more betting combinations, and also stroke his ego
to no end. Both things on this day are good. Afterwards, go around and sell shares of your potential win fall
in five or ten percent blocks. You can easily hand out copies of all the combinations to each shareholder, and
also post them throughout the house. Those that don't bet will root for those that do. It's all about the
camaraderie. Some may even root against the college roommate just for kicks, which will undoubtedly
provide hours of added enjoyment for all. With a fair amount of luck, the entire house could be live going
into the big event.
As the horses for the Derby emerge for the post parade, hand out copies of My Old Kentucky Home and
encourage a group sing a long. Walk up to the first person you see with real, actual tears and hand them a
$2.00 voucher. You'll be amazed at how much loyalty will be bought with so little. With two minutes to post,
go out and bring all the horseshoe players in. Crank up the volume on all the TV's, and get in your favorite
race spot. The gate break for the Kentucky Derby is THE most exciting start of any sport in the world. Your
party room will surely explode as the heard thunders down the stretch for the first time. As the horses bolt
down the backstretch do yourself a favor. Take your eyes off the TV for a short second and take a look
around. Take pride in your party but more importantly, take pride in your sport. The look of excited friends
and family is one that will stay with you for years after this run for the roses. Give yourself a quick pat on the
back and also hand yourself a voucher.
When they turn for home, have another voucher ready for the guy who yells “and down the stretch they
come the most emphatically. When the last horse has crossed the finish line feel free to exhale in relief. Your
job as party host has officially come to an end.
The best thing about a Kentucky Derby party, or any race party for that matter is this. There is a definite
beginning and ending of a day at the races. Immediately following the last race on the card (if you've€™v
schooled them well), your entire guest list will throw everything on the floor and filter out en masse. While
your house will resemble the aftermath of a ticker tape parade, everyone will be gone! No hanger on-ers, no
awkward moments with phony yawns. If you've schooled them well even your old college roommate will know
when to leave. Pick up enough discarded tickets from the floor and use them to offset the entertainment
expense. Thank the neighbors for the help, and drop the rumor that the Preakness party is across the street in
two weeks. Tell the gang you'll bring a TV and a couple of vouchers. Someday I'm gonna go to the Preakness.
Let me know if the house breaks even.
Chris White is a contributing writer for HorsePlayer Magazine. He can
be reached at crwhitey2000@yahoo.com for comments or suggestions.
be reached at crwhitey2000@yahoo.com for comments or suggestions.
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